This case gave me
great encouragement as the outcome was truly remarkable. It was wonderful to see
a young woman once crippled with anxiety turn her life around i.e. leave home, sit her exams, become financially secure, enter into a loving relationship etc.
It continues to be a positive experience for both of us each time we meet.
On 8, August, 2013 a 21 year old female came to my clinic
for help with chronic Anxiety.
Case Taking
This 21 year old female was timid, reserved and childish
with great anticipatory fear. She had
little or no confidence/self esteem. She
felt different to others her age. This created feelings of isolation and
irritability when around others.
Homeopath: What
can I do for you today?
Patient: I always feel like an outsider. I am not a
chatty person. I speak only when spoken to. People don’t understand me. They
just don’t get me, get who I am. It makes me feel sad having to put on
different faces. I don’t feel strong enough or have the confidence to be me. My
mentality is “no I can’t”. It overwhelms me. I put up a wall, a block in my
mind. I cry at night. It takes hold of
you. I want to go away, go away from life. The same feeling is always there
just the situation changes. I don’t want to do what I don’t want to.
Homeopath: Tell
me more
Patient: I am no
good at anything, better if I am not here, useless, why bother. I am nervous, anxious,
flustered. I lose inner control.
Homeopath: Go on
Patient: I feel
like I am angry with myself for not being assertive and angry with others for
not understanding me. I feel useless, not cut out for this life. But, I just
have to go through with it.
Homeopath:
What else can you tell me about yourself?
Patient:
Well I get a sharp pain in my lower back and sides. It started in college,
probably stress. It is terrible, sharp severe and persistent. The pain is worse
at night. My periods were bad too, painful. They stopped for about a year when
I was 18 . I lost weight. My Mom had left home. There was a lot of toing and
froing and nobody saying anything. The house was full of tension. I felt I was
stuck in the middle of their conflict.
Homeopath: Go
on
Patient: I
was annoyed, frustrated, did not understand, confused. But, I went along with
it and pretended all was normal. I was very angry as I was doing my Leaving
Cert examination.
Homeopath:
Can you tell me more ?
Patient: I
get headaches, a dull pain that is worse in the morning. Heat would aggravate
it. I like hot weather, you feel healthier. I hate the rain and wind. But it
can be nice sometimes. You have a feeling that you do not have to go outdoors.
On good days (weather wise) I feel I have to go out, go for walks. But I like
having nothing to do, just nothing. That is not a good thing.
Homeopath:
Tell me more
Patient:
When I am stressed I stay up quite late. I do not want the next day to begin.
When something has to be done like my driving test, last week, I start munching
and leave all my preparation until late, last minute. It’s like self sabotage.
I think I am not going to get it so why bother. I have a strange eating style.
I don’t like to cook for myself. I don’t
feel worthy. But, I do like cooking meals for others. I give myself as
little as possible. I am regimental breakfast, lunch, dinner at regular times.
I break my food up into small pieces to make it appear like there is more. I
would rather feed than be fed. I feel relieved when people say “well done for cooking that nice meal”. I enjoy eating meals together, shared.
Homeopath:
Tell me more
Patient: Nothing
works out, so why start it. It’s the same with everything, even work. I have no
confidence, nervous, see the worst case scenario. I think why would people want
to employ me? Let me pass an examination?
Want to be my friend? It’s because of the things I say. Things get to me.
I think too much. I get scared, upset, and revert to “I am not good enough. I t
has a hold on me and I can’t get past it. Then my mind freezes. I hate the
feeling.
Homeopath: Go
on
Patient: I worked
for a few weeks in “ XXXX ”. I was nervous and afraid to put myself out there. I
was in a different zone. Didn’t know what to do, my mind went blank, went on
auto pilot – functioning but not thinking. The lights were on but nobody was
home. I was all limbs.
Homeopath:
Anything else of interest?
Patient: Well like I said I eat when I am bothered to.
I am a vegetarian since secondary school when I had to watch a film about
battery hens. I remember for the project being shoved into a group and feeling
a real outsider. I did not feel very good. My stomach went a bit. I t was
disgusting.
Homeopath:
Dreams, Lets discuss dreams
Patient:
None really, my dreams tend to be an exaggerated version of daily life for me.
Scary and glad when they are over. No more to tell about them really.
Homeopath: Do
you have a favorite book, film?
Patient: Yes
there is a book “Perfume.
It was originally written in German and set in 18th century France.
It’s very oppressive. It’s about a young boy growing up in an orphanage. He has
a hard life involving child labour. It’s about his experiences and how they
molded him.
Homeopath:
Anything else?
Patient: I
would like to be more ambitious, do better for myself and push myself especially
when dealing with people. Get rid of this scary daze. I know I need an
attachment. I like to be told what to do and when and where to do it. When I am
not told what to do I go blank, become uneasy, anxious. I hate having any
responsibility. I don’t know what I am doing. I regress back to a childhood
state (hugs herself)
Homeopath: Tell
me about your childhood?
Patient: I thought
I had freedom, but, my parents did control certain areas of my life. They restricted me financially.
Homeopath: Anything
else
Patient: My ideal world would be where things are done for me.
I know I have to take a leap do things for myself but, I am so fearful. Maybe I
will start by finding a hobby, something I would like to do
Homeopath: Lets discuss Modalities - Physical - Generals
Homeopath: Thirst?
Patient: I drink a lot of water
Homeopath How does
heat /cold affect you?
Patient I don't like heat but I like to
be warm. I really feel worse for being cold and have to wrap up my hands, feet
and head when going out in cold weather.
Homeopath Foods you
like / dislike?
Patient: I like eggs, fresh bread,
frozen yogurt, ice cream, vegetables, salads as I am vegetarian. I dislike
meat, chicken I can eat a little fish if I don't see it being prepared.
Homeopath Physical
ailments
Patient I get very bad headaches / migraine The
bursting pain starts at the back of my head and moves to my forehead. My
period is irregular and very painful. My hearing is impaired as a result of an
ear infection when I was 4 years old. I get aching pain at lower end of my
spine when standing for a long period of time.
Homeopath Lets discuss Generals
Patient: When
I am unwell I generally feel better wrapped up in my warm bed especially when
I suffer with migraine or period pains . The cold and wet makes my
symptoms feel worse.
Homeopathic
Analysis
22 year old,
petite, female with low self esteem. She feels like an outsider, different to
others. This young woman withdraws from situations she
cannot cope with. Her upbringing was oppressive, restrictive and controlled. I
am of the opinion she is unable to mature and move into the “real world”
preferring to give her control to her parents and others. When she is faced
with responsibility she becomes overwhelmed, panics and her mind goes blank.
The adult world appears a very daunting place for this young woman.
I thought she may be suicidal as she says “I don’t want to be here”. Yet it was expressed in a very passive manner. I am
of the opinion suicide is more aggressive “I want to kill myself”. Initially the young woman told me quite
spontaneously about her feelings including feeling like an outsider, puts on
different faces, want to go away from life, no good at anything, angry with
self and so on. While this information forms a good basis for the case and
understanding where she is coming from there will no doubt be more to
unravel. As always, with the first
interview, I like to let my new patient settle in to the homeopathic
process. At the follow up I intend to
ask more probing questions that will indicate how she responds to her life’s
circumstances. What she was like as a child? What affected her most strongly
etc. I need to deepen my understanding of the case.
Repertorization
MIND, CHILDISH, behavior,
MIND, CONFIDENCE, want of self- confidence
MIND, YIELDING, disposition
MIND, THOUGHTS, vanishing of
MIND, FASTIDIOUS
MIND, FORSAKEN, feeling
MIND, HELPLESS
Differentiation
- remedies considered based on the repertorization were
Natrum Muriaticum, Desire
for solitude, Builds wall around her. Natrium Muriaticum is more passive than patient. While patient is introverted it is for a different reason than Natrium Muriaticum
who hordes insults and hurts until they fester and then seek revenge. I do not
see this in the patient as she wants to extricate herself from these feelings, deal with
them , move on..
Barc C , Inertia, apathy. Conflict between security
and exposure. Antagonism with self. Aversion to company but dreads being alone.
Full of cares and worries. Much anger with self and others. Dislikes
responsibility. May behave in childish
manner. Patient exhibits an emotional fragility that is not seen in Barc C. Barc C
and patient can form dependent relationships ( I know I need an attachment. I like to
be told what to do and when and where to do it”). In relationships patient would be more the caretaker than
Barc C. Barc C is more confused about their feelings than patient who appears timid
but inside she knows exactly how she feels .
Pulsatilla has
many fears, is timid, forsaken and finds it difficult to assert her
independence. Yet patient is more obstinate than the milder Pulsatilla. Pulsatilla is
more flexible than the rigid patient. Pulsatilla craves consolation whereas patient likes
to be alone. Pulsatilla is more charming and fun loving than patient. I am of the
opinion that Pulsatilla while very similar to patient is too soft a remedy
Silica, Covers most of the presenting symptoms. Refined, shy, timid yet can be stubborn ( I don't want to do what I don't want to do), Suffers with anticipatory anxiety and
agitation (before exams, tests, meeting people), easily embarrassed (when reprimanded)
. Lacks stamina if overburdened and tires easily form overexertion. Lacks
confidence, tired of life. Sensitive and better for routine. Underestimates her
capabilities with fear of new situations. Lack of emotional independence.
Headache if overheated pressing out in forehead as if it may split.
I communicated instructions for taking remedies and the homeopathic treatment plan with the patient. I also recorded it in the patient file. 1 x Silica 200C potency (pill) was taken. The pill was placed under the tongue and allowed to dissolve. Based on the patient’s sensitivity, low vitality and mental / emotional delicacy I decided to use 200c. We will review matters and possibly adjust potency in another 4 weeks time. Should the patients’ symptoms worsen she is to call me.
The first dose the patient took was on August
9, 2013.
Follow update September 6, 2013
Patient:
After I took the remedy I immediately felt better. My mind was less anxious,
more relaxed. My headaches have improved. I sat exams a week after taking the remedy
and while it was not a good experience I felt more confident than I have ever
been sitting exams. I am now aware of my anxiety like when something is about
to change or something unexpected happens. I still feel very different to
others shy, quite, reserved but, it doesn’t bother me as much now. That too has
improved. I know I dwell on things too much but it’s not as bad now as I am
more positive. I push myself to go out and do more things. I have taken up
Salsa dancing. My sister is leaving home to go to college. I am worried about
that as I will be sad, alone again. It’s another change but I will be able to
deal with it better than before. I am not as scared.
I had a confrontation with
a manager in the shop I work in at weekends. I became anxious a he would not
listen to my point of view. I became quite and went into myself. I wanted to
flee, hoped it would go away (observation, she shudders, puts her hands to her
face). I got all apologetic, felt awful terror, and took it all to heart. I am
a coward I should have challenged him. I don’t like confrontation. Yet even though
I had this familiar experience I felt stronger than ever before.
Homeopath: After hearing the patient my evaluation is that
Silica supported patient greatly. Her anxiety has dropped, her thinking is more
positive. The physical symptoms (headaches) have as expected, improved, the
patients constitution has strengthened indicating the strong action of the
remedy. It was a straight forward follow up that signified repeating Silica
200c with confidence.
Follow up October, 4 2014
Patient: I had an unmerciful argument with my
father last week. That in itself is a good thing. I was never able to confront
before always deflected and took the blame. Of course this added to my anxiety.
It was always so hard to stand up for myself, put my point of view across. I
never liked confrontation. There was no point to it as I did not have the tools
to speak up. Yet for the first time I defended myself I was going to be
appreciated and I asked my father to assist me financially while at college. He
was taken aback, so was I with my outburst but I left the room with a smile on
my face. I have come to the realization the “real world” is difficult,
demanding and at times I will become upset but I must learn how to cope with it
all.
Oh and I have met a really
nice guy at college. He has asked me out a few times. He is rather like me shy,
reserved, introverted but we get on very well. I feel happier, more optimistic
and in control of my life than I have ever been.
Homeopath: The remedy picture remains the same and
patient continuous to improve on all levels. I feel that the remedy should be
continued as its action is still in progress.
Follow up was scheduled for 4 weeks time.
Follow up November 1, 2014
Patient: I am doing fine and am much more
comfortable with things, especially work – I just started waitressing in a restaurant
at weekends and holidays. I am earning good money; people in the restaurant are
really nice. They tell me I am good at my job as I am nice and polite to all. I
did get a bad headache but it was not caused by anxiety it was really busy in
the restaurant and the noise was unbearable. All the staff had headaches that
night. I am eating well and taking regular exercise. My only concern now is about
the future and getting a job after college. I speak up for myself now. I don’t
get as fearful or suffer from anticipatory anxiety to the same degree. It’s
still there but much more manageable. I am more accepting of any given
situations I find myself in. I relax into it a bit more. I sleep well as I am
physically tired now from working hard. I could not cook for myself before but
now I can. I need to as I am away from home. I am earning money and can buy
nice things now. I have become more
independent and go places in my new (second hand) car. I don’t get bogged down with my parents and
others peoples troubles anymore. I feel very, very happy.
Homeopath:
Based on the patient’s description of events I feel that the patient is making
wonderful progress. She is in a better position to manage her life. I feel we
are nearing the end of treatment but not quite there yet. Therefore I will
repeat Silica 200c until its effect is exhausted and schedule a follow up for 4
weeks times. I also instructed the patient to continue her new exercise regime
and eat healthy.